Thursday, July 12, 2012

Stay Strong

I've been addicted to song lately. I don't even know why O_O It calms me down somehow.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel really HUNGRY but I can't bring myself to eat. When I do eat, I don't like it. It's hard to explain, but I think now I know how bulimic people feel like. My Mum says it's because I've been sick but I'm pretty much healthy now. I hate this feeling. I don't like the fact I can't eat what I want without my stomach rejecting everything I eat. I used to eat 2 meals a day, snacks in between. Now I eat 2 meals a day. Full stop. I don't even eat as much as I used to. I'm disgusted with myself. Urgghh.

I want to buy acrylic paint. But as always, there's no time for me to buy.

There's so much I want to do, but can't.

I keep feeling sad. I don't even know why but I do. It's just so hard to smile nowadays.

I think my withdrawal from food is driving me crazy.

I've been feeling so uncomfortable lately, with my life. There's a part of me that wants to leave Malaysia for a while to take a break. But there's another part of me that doesn't want to leave the place I call home. Hmmph. Conflicted feelings.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do at the end of this year either. I want to stay, help out in VBS, go to JET camp (maybe? LOL), hang out with my friends and all. But I also want to leave the country -__- For personal reasons. Meh. I'll just let my aunt decide. If she wants me to go, I'll go. But if she doesn't, I'll stay. I'll be okay with it either way.

Maybe I just need to write a poem. Haven't wrote one for a few months already.

Well anyway, I hope you'll be having a better week than I have so far.

Stay strong and keep carrying on.

Good Day :)

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