Wednesday, May 7, 2014

When I'm Gone.

No, I'm not going anywhere. HAHA. Except, maybe to study -__- Title is one of my favorite songs from Simple Plan. I'm having one of those days where I just want to listen to old favorites.

I'm recovering from an awful fever (and it's a strawberry exam week..) It started last Tuesday in school, with severe back pain, then my body aching everywhere. I kept lying down, leaning against friends and teachers thought I was being lazy. Me? OH PLEASE. Most rajin (hardworking) person in Never-Study-Land. Went home, crashed on the couch and got a flipping fever a couple hours later. And so for the next four days, I was just sleeping like a queen (only ate one meal, can you believe it? Appetite deserted me) and I thought I was getting better but I relapsed on Friday and passed out for the rest of the day (and night) Urgh, I hated being sick. To top it all off, IR night was on Saturday.

I was almost certain I would have to miss it, but I forced myself to go, HAHA. Went to Joy's house to get ready, feels like it took forever to get the eyeliner put on right, put on my dress (and realized I lost weight..not sure if I'm happy bout it), and couldn't curl my hair, much less braid it because my arms were so weak .

So I just put on my floral crown and gathered my things. We went to pick up Cheryl, and it started to rain (O_O) Got really worried about the getting out of the car part, because my dress was kinda short. Waited in the lobby for ages, for Meg to come. When everyone finally came, I thought we looked good :P So formal and sassy. HAHA. Indy asked me to pass Keith's ticket to him, so I did. Then Keith came and asked where his ticket is. I was like "..Umm. Indy took it." -_- Guys, forever confusing themselves and other people.

All of us (sitting at the same table) went to register, and Samuel had to fix things because Cheryl forgot her ticket. HAHA. Joy almost forgot too, and I would have if I hadn't thought of it at the last second. Security was intense, once you're in the room, you can't leave until the event starts. I don't know whhyyyy. I don't remember everything, so I'll just list down some highlights :)

1. We went to the washroom a lot. I don't know why, just to walk around for a bit and escape the cold room. (And check our reflections in the mirror :P)

2. Nigel was supposed to be the only guy at our table, but Sam and Indy came over to teman (accompany) him. They did make things lively, haha.

3. Isaac (a guy I know from primary school) wore a Hawaiian shirt, and looked like an uncle (so that's what everyone called him) and he said the dirty version of "poop" when he saw me. LOL, who's not still afraid of me?

4. Recognized a lot of people from primary school and old tuition centers.

5. Got weird stares for wearing a floral crown and combat boots.

6. Samuel Some random person told Joanne I look like Taylor Swift -__- The badass version, I hope, LOL.

7. Megan and I went all the way across the ballroom to say hi to an old tuition friend, Robynn. She shooo pretty but I didn't recognize her without her specs, hahaha. Saw Samantha there, and another girl I knew, but we weren't that close so I didn't say hi. It was awkward at first, but then a guy on stage started singing "Let Her Go" by Passenger. Robynn said "Hey, let's wave our arms!" So we did..for 5 seconds. HAHA. It was great seeing her again :) We took photos too, hehe.

8. Still felt sick and tired, so I couldn't finish my food and talk as much as I usually do.

9. Megan started feeding me jelly :3 But she refused to put it straight in my mouth, just let me say "Arr..." and wait like a loony for the jelly to enter. As expected, the jelly dropped. When it did, my drunk spirit came back and I went "Wheeee...jelly!!" Hopefully didn't freak anyone into thinking I'm brain damaged.

10. Joy wore hipster glasses, and it made her eyes look hugeeee. Couldn't look her in the face without noticing. HAHA.

11. Guy played a really nice song on saxaphone, walked past him a couple of minutes later and didn't recognize him. HAHA. Samuel asked "Were you looking at the guy or the sexy saxaphone?" I said "The saxaphone..duhh." So embarrassing, but I'm not even that embarrassed.

12. We took lots of photos, but I didn't take any selfies. I always feel self-conscious and perasan when I do it, especially in public -__- I don't know how other people get so used to it.

13. (Don't hate me for saying this) I couldn't stand the rap and dancing performances because of the musssssiiiccccc. That was definitely not music for the sick and weak (which I was..all night yesterday) Got into a quiet, emo mood because my head pounded like someone was hitting me repeatedly with a baseball bat. I just closed my eyes and prayed for it to be over quickly.

14. My dad threatened to turn me into a rat if I wasn't back by 12. He didn't say a.m. or p.m.

I arrived home, a couple of minutes before 12 am. HAHA. Good girl here, ladies and gentleman.
I ain't gonna stay out all night...

(Photo taken by Sammmmm on Robynn's phone)

See what I meant by big eyes? D:

This photo makes me laugh...Sam and Nigel just like zombies, LOL.

The ladies...and one photobomber there.
(Photo credits to Joyyyy :D)

(Photos credits to Aijeannnnnn :D)

That's how short my dress was..HAHA. It might not be that short for most people, but it is for me.
Literally had no tummy at all.

I forgot whose photos these are..probably Joy's, HAHA.
Can you see my sassy boots? :3 Everyone trying to convince me not to wear them.
Bugger off, society. This girl does what she wants to do :)
I'm standing really awkwardly because I had no balance..If I did anything, I felt like I was falling down -__-

Bottomline is that it was a pretty fantastic night *Less than three* Even if I was sick and felt like dying. Yayyy.. I'm glad I went.
I know I'm supposed to be studying for Sejarah tomorrow, but I'm blogging instead of prepping paper 3 notes, LOL. Soon..soon. All my revision and reference books completely disappeared. I think my mum decided to store them somewhere else..MUM. Flipping blueberries, I need those books! Now I have to go digging around and reorganizing everything (-__-)

Playing piano again, yayyy. But my left wrist isn't flexible anymore for some reason. It feels strained. I'm learning Never Say Never by The Fray (Not someone else..) and it sounds so good..On Youtube :P Can't believe it's exams week. There's Sejarah (History) papers to worry about tomorrow. Friday is English, yayyy. Happy. Mark Of Athena, I've been putting on hold for almost a year now (I KNOW. I'm astonished at myself) and I really have to get started on reading it again.. I have no idea what to answer in QuizUp when they ask about the House of Hades (which I've not read yet)

I'm on a whatsapp break, so I won't be replying to any messages until Saturday night. Trying to test my self-control and resistance level. I did the same with Facebook last year, and look at me now..Forever anti-social and alone. HAHA. JUST KIDDING. People tell me I'm lucky because I have so many close friends.. I guess I have a knack for finding awesome people who are just as insane as me :)

My friends and I are cursing in fruits and vegetables now. Someone *ehem no name ehem* said "What the f***?" and I held up my hand and said "Fish, please." He "...What?" LOL, don't curse in front of me, I'm trying to keep my mind clean. Imagine the looks I get when I told my friend "Such a blueberry lah you..." Then worst insult is calling someone a bloated durian. HAHA, probably not insulting if you actually like durians. *pokerface*

I guess the reason why it's easy to be friends with me (once you know me, that is..If you don't, I'm just a stuck up bore) is because most people can sense that I'm open to new friendships. (If I like you, that is) I'd smile and laugh with you, and I'll mean every second of it. I wouldn't pretend to like you, cause if I don't, I'll tell you straight to your face. I'm honest, but not brutally or unnecessarily. You know those people who you go up to and ask "Can I be your friend?" They give you that look and simply say "NO." *Inserts heartbreak here* I'm making myself sound like such a matyr, hahaha. But it's just the truth.. I like making new friends, but you gotta be the right sort of person. No backstabbing walruses or gossiping sharks, please. And then there's people who act like they want to be your friend, but leaves you out of things and doesn't want to spend time with you (like literally hiding to avoid you..wth, toilet, really?)..Just so you know, I don't wanna be your friend with that kind of attitude coming from you.

Guy cashier at Pizza Hut today saw my uniform, and said he came from  *inserts school name* too :D I went "Oh really? When did you graduate?" and chatted for a while. And I thought I was a quiet person -__- After we took our food, the cashier lady said "Thanks for coming" and I said "No, thank YOU" And the guy cashier said thanks and I said thanks back to him. Socially awkward Maine...

Had difficulty breathing today.. It was worse than the previous days. Thankfully remembered to bring an inhaler, so there I was inhaling away, lol. Teacher saw me and came to inspect, I just gave him an innocent expression. I guess he thought I was sniffing garden weed, hahaha. Imagine trying to do Mathematics when you can't breathe properly. It's torture.

Have you ever had that problem when you can talk to someone online but you can't think of anything to say in person? First time I'm experiencing this..

I've never been at loss for words before. LOL. Honestly, I can yak away about a calculator and the different modes, for durian's sake. I wonder why it's happening now though.

Last Sunday, came to church and everyone was sitting around a table. Someone suggesting going to eat and everyone wanted to :3 Most of us have had a long night, the night before after all. We went to put all the cooking stuff (me, my bag) in the RR office. Cmdr KY saw me, Sam and Jez and started talking about the cooking rice part. First funny conversation I ever had about rice. Went to eat with Cheryl S, Samuel, Isaac, Indy and Keith. Was annoyed with myself for not being able to finish my food.. This doesn't happen often, almost NEVER. The guys were talking about something, but I was only half listening because they talk a lot of things which I don't understand, then they said "You wouldn't understand if you're not a guy." Okay. Don't see how gender affects my knowledge and thought process, but okay. HAHA. Don't tell me things like that, it only makes me uninterested in whatever else you have to say.

Cheryl and I went to the RR office to relax for a bit (air cond...), then she had to buy some rice (I think) with Christabel, so I tagged along. Saw Joy across the road with the other guys, and sat with them. It was fun to watch them tease Aaron, a part of me enjoys his misery, HAHA. Jezreel kept calling the poor Kakak auntie. It was so amusing, especially when it happened more than once. Darren, Nigel, Fabian, Jezreel and Aaron are hilarious to watch interacting. I'm making them sound like animals in a zoo where animal experts watch and study them everyday -__- Genius Maine.

Afterwards was the cooking competition, I was on duty to watch out for Kathy's team, they made baked potatoes :3 SO DELICIOUS, I almost died. Everyone cooked really well too, the food was fantastic. Apparently Rangers have a knack with food..probably because we eat so much, we know what's delicious and what's not. HAHA. Got really dizzy towards the end when they were announcing the winners of the competition, MaestroChef's the name, I just remembered. My vision actually blanked for 10 seconds, and I went into a silent panic attack which no one noticed, LOL. I'm that quiet. Then I found out something which made me upset, and got really pissed off and quiet afterwards.. Which thankfully, no one noticed because I have a naturally angry/serious face anyway hahaha. Cheryl S told me I looked tired then cheered me up when she joked around during a handshake :P HAHA, awesome peanut. I went home and started studying Komsas.

I know I've mentioned this a million to a zillion times, but I have nothing to wear anymore. Most of my clothes are either too big or small, or the style isn't my type anymore -___- WHYYY. I want 3 quarter sleeved shirts, more hoodies, plain tees, shorts, jet black skinny jeans and a different wardrobe. But I've no time to organize my old ones to get rid of it yet. My dad wants to set up a photography set in our house for taking photos of clothes (he needs it for business too) so I'll just wait for that to happen. I'll do it during the holidays :D After Pow Wow...

Which reminds me, I completely forgot to buy bleach and pink dye to streak my hair -__- Shoots. Now I'm not even sure if I should do it now, or wait till after SPM. Haish. Oh well, Que sera sera.

Don't you just hate feeling jealous? It's such an awful bitter feeling that nags at you but you can't make it go away. I despise myself when I'm jealous of someone but I can't help it. Jealousy is something which is really difficult to control. But I'm never jealous of another person's success, it's usually always about their personality or skills. Maybe sometimes, their looks (not always). There are so many things which I wish I could be better at doing. Maybe I'm just an awful, insecure person deep inside..which makes me confused again, because the one thing I've always known about myself is that I know who I am and what I stand for. If I don't have that, what do I have, really?

Last note, I hate it when people take a long time to reply. Especially when I know they're on their phones 24/7. Have some common courtesy, please. If you don't want to talk to me, don't bother. Just be polite about it and tell me so. This one's ironic because look at me, not replying to all the messages I'm getting at the moment. HAHA, I'm an Ocean. I'm sorry.

Till next time!


  1. I know how you feel about the jealousy D: I feel it alot too! And I'm usually surprised because I always realize that there's something I have thats better and there's something they have thats better so obviously we're both even in the end but sometimes it just doesn't go away! D:

    1. Precisely! Hahaha, and it's especially hard to be jealous of someone's relationship :'( I HATE being jelly hahaha.

  2. HAHAHAHA wasn't Samuel who said you looked a little like Swift.. he would've told u himself if it was him :p

    1. It wasn't? D: TELL ME WHOOO. Hahaha, yeah he would have, should have thought of that *Sheepish expression*


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